We wear the mask

So there's some energy floating around in my circle and I'm choosing to react to it. In my reaction, I'm trying my best to keep the role I played in the situation in the forefront of my mind. I'm no angel. I don't claim to be one. I do things that leave me shaking my head at myself more than I want to a lot of times. In striving for perfection of my being, I understand that I am human.  And to be "only good" is actually not even a goal of mine at this point in my life because I'm not sure that THAT is real. I'm striving to accept ALL OF ME and not try to force myself to be someone I'm not.


I watch people though. And while I understand that it's important to respect everyone on their private journey to whatever wholeness goal they do or don't have...lol....I've developed this hypersensitivity to hypocrisy. I learned a little while back that I was one of the biggest hypocrites I knew. Rules applied to everyone else except me. I was the exception. They didn't count for me because....well whatever lie or excuse I could come up with that was convenient at the time was good enough. (This, however, is not the same as not divulging information because you feel like MOFO's need to mind their business.) In retrospect, that was definitely a horrible sickness. I did a lot of things and attempted to manipulate a lot of people because I thought I was the exception to the rule. And when the pretty pump or super sexy knee boot was on the other foot, I cried and protested and pouted like it was nobody's business. I'm glad I am not the same person I was. I still struggle with hypocrisy but my awareness is much higher today and I've learned how to check myself better.


The problem I have with people is that they, in general, are hypocrites who are unaware that they are and don't care to move out of that space. I don't take issue with people thinking they are special. I do, however, take issue with people who can't stand when the mirror of life shows them their own unattractive qualities and insist on screaming "Victim"! You're no victim. You can't be when you have choices. Whenever I look at someone and can see qualities in them that cause me to cringe, I do so with the understanding that I have those qualities too. Game definitely recognizes game. Liars recognize liars. Cheaters recognize cheaters. Thieves recognize thieves. The level might not be the same but the recognition is still the same. So what you don't cheat by having sex. You cheated by hiding details of a "relationship" or "connection" from your mate while you were together. So what you didn't take the $50 from your mom's purse. You took pencils and pens from your job during school time and didn't tell anybody.

Hypocrisy doesn't have stages and levels in my book necessarily. We all wear the mask. Some people's masks are just more pretty and more adorned than others. And that's ok too. Just don't be angry when someone treats you a certain kind of way because of the mask you wear. And definitely don't be angry at me if I decide to snatch your mask off when your arrogance and hypocrisy work my nerves to the point where I can't take it anymore. It's ALL LOVE....maybe.