Character - Van Hunt

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What leaving Facebook showed me about myself

This will probably end up being a listicle (list/article)......because energy..... What leaving Facebook for a little under 2 weeks showed me about myself: 1. I was absolutely addicted to logging in and interacting with the toxicity on FB. I aggravated anxiety, triggered myself, and could not find the strength to turn away most days. I was annoyed with people and their thoughts, their opinions, their pity parties, their expression, and just them. But I could not find the strength to turn away most days. 2. I tricked myself into believing that I could manage the addiction (because that's what addiction looks like). I unfollowed people, muted people, unfriended people, blocked people, tried to stay on my own timeline, and tried to only go to certain people's pages. INSTEAD OF LOGGING OUT AND OFF so I am admitting to myself and to other people that my life became unmanageable. 3. I only claimed I wanted to be successful. I didn't do the things I knew I needed to do to...
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Rewriting Narratives

There's been something about this time of the year in the past that brought me down to my knees. In the past, Fall has been rough financially and even more so spiritually for me. Four years ago, I experienced my last serious battle with suicidal thoughts. It was severe. So much so that I checked myself into the hospital to get help to stabilize myself. Four years later and suicide is not on my radar. I'm in transition right now though. My closest relationships are shifting in ways that have been aggravating the insecurities I've felt for years. These shifts are bringing all kinds of thoughts, feelings, and realities to surface. And I'm holding on, both watching and experiencing it all happening. About 10 days or so ago, I started listening to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. In hindsight, spirit led me to this message. I say that because the teachings helped to sustain me during the shift that happened last week. I know this is true for me. If it had not been for ...
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What I Hate About Being A Mother

People close to me know that I am very transparent about my experience being a mother. I had my first child at 18. I had a small inkling of what parenthood and motherhood were. I knew that I needed to teach her to read and write and spell her name and say her manners. I knew that I would be responsible for her for a very long time. I'd teach her about life and what I had learned so far. (How arrogant of me to believe that 18 years of experience as a human being was enough to begin to show somebody something!) I had my second child right before my 21st birthday. I had to teach him the same things AND I had to figure out how to get him to pee standing up. Again, 21 years of experience as a human being seemed like enough at the time. I wouldn't advise anyone to do it today. I had my third child when I was 27. I hadn't begun to make sense of my life in what felt like a meaningful way. I was still reeling from choices I made when I was 18 and 21. I was busy doing things that...
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