The Evolution of Perspective

So I'm having a discussion about anger today right. I realize that I've fallen into the slither of space in the world that is designated for the angry black woman. Anyone who knows me well knows that I can be a very angry person. I have control issues. I want my life to be smooth and easy and shit. And because that's not the way my life is set up, I react with anger. It's quick. It's swift. Then it's over. I started writing a blog a while ago about anger. Here's what I ended up with: This blog has been a long time coming. I think I reached a tipping point today, so instead of lashing out I will write it out. I've been angry. My mood has been set mostly to anger lately. Small things have angered me. Old things have angered me. People close to me have annoyed and angered me. New things have angered me.  I don't like this part of living. I understand that I'm not going to be happy all the time. I, however, do not like being angry. I don't kn...

My cheerleader is gone. She got tired. She packed up her overworked pom poms and rolled right out. I’m sitting here wondering when she’s coming back. I need her. But I overworked her.  I spent the bulk of 2014 doing 100 miles easy. I kept telling myself that I needed to grind. The grind does not grind itself. The brand does not brand itself. And my network will not increase from the comfort of my living room. Looking back on my year, I now realize that I exhausted myself. I’m tired physically. I’m tired mentally. And more importantly, I’m tired emotionally and psychologically.  I am currently unable to “feel” much of anything. That’s partially due to the crash I had recently. I reluctantly have to admit that I was not successful at being Super Woman this year. I hit a brick wall…..HARD. Most of the things I did for others this year were overshadowed by a strong sense of resentment and regret. I did not want to help all of the people I helped. I did not want to b...