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Showing posts from June, 2011

Why I stopped saying THANK YOU when people tell me Happy Father's Day

Today's Father's Day. So far, I've gotten four Happy Father's Day wishes. I decided to not respond to them. I'm not a father. I'm a mother. No matter how much effort I put into parenting, I will NEVER be able to be a father to my children. I don't even know what that entails. I didn't have my father in my life for the first 30 years almost. And by the time he got here, I struggled to bring him into my life in an appropriate way. I've watched men be fathers to their children but it was usually from a distance. So I never really understood what it meant to "be a father". Is it the opposite of being a mother? Is it the missing pieces of being a mother? *shrugs* See, I can only relate fatherhood in terms of motherhood because motherhood was all I knew. I no longer accept when women tell their children that they are the mother and the father. I no longer believe that a woman can teach a boy how to be a man. I think we need to stop telling our

Friggin mirror

So there's some unconventional (or conventional depending on what circles you run in) wisdom that states that you are a compilation of the 5 people you associate with the most. There's also this notion that people show you who you are by exhibiting behaviors and traits that you possess but my not be entirely conscious of. *SCREAM* Here are some of the negative characteristics of the people with whom I spend THE MOST amount of time or the people who I have connected with in the last 3 - 5 years: childish inconsiderate selfish close-minded insensitive insecure angry sad ego-driven depressed lazy broke confused dishonest impatient I think I'll stop there. This is in NO WAY an attempt to shade or disrespect those close to me. What this is is  an exercise in reflection. I am the company I keep.  Now I don't know if I've drawn these people close to me or if they gravitated to me. At this point in my life, it doesn't even really matter. What matters t

LIVE LIVE WITH LOVE

I think collectively we believe that life is supposed to be about struggle and pain. We're taught very early that our Creator in human form died so that we could live. There is something very perverse and disturbing to me about the idea that God had to die so that we could experience life. *sidenote* I watched a documentary called The Business of Being Born and in it the American childbirth method was discussed. The documentary touched on how American medicine makes childbirth painful, unnecessarily comfortable, and more difficult than it needs to be. The degree to which women "suffer" to bring forth life is essentially elevated. While I will agree that a lot of women experience a LOT OF SUFFERING to bring forth life, I do not believe this is what nature intended but I won't go into that for the sake of not contradicting myself more than I already have. *end sidenote* Most of us, I believe, do not subscribe to the notion that we are worthy simply by virtue of the