The Evolution of Perspective

I was a very different person before 2009. I used to describe her as "ugly". Her behavior was ugly. Her thoughts were misguided. She was in a lot of pain. She knew it, but she didn't really know how she was being affected by the pain. My behavior wasn't anything that I recognize today as healthy. Her spirit tried to remember that it was good though. From 2009 - 2012, I was extremely aware of my own toxicity and knew that I had to heal it and deal with it and reduce it but never forget that she existed. Anybody who knew me then and still "knows" me today, knows that I am as different as I can be. Anybody who knew me then and doesn't know me today doesn't know the amount of work that I did and continue to do to to make sure that I heal all of the pain energy that was shared with me and that I shared with the world. I work hard to look at my life, my personhood, and my energy so that I can be clear about what I'm sharing with the world. It's

For the most part, I've been off social media (and by off I mean refraining from posting) since March 20th. I needed a break from talking publicly. I needed to listen. I needed to watch. I needed to observe. I was in desperate need of some clarity. I continued chatting with friends during the hiatus, but I didn't say anything publicly. I didn't like anything. I didn't comment on posts. I didn't answer any tags. I just held private conversations and lurked. Those who REALLY know me, know that when I get quiet, something important is happening. Here are 5 (of 15)  things that I realized about myself and was able to begin to make peace with when I decided to get quiet: 1. I realized that I had an unwarranted fear of missing out. If I didn't keep people engaged, if I didn't respond to people, if I didn't answer their tags.....what would happen? I assumed people would forget about me. I assumed people would get caught up in the "next best thing&quo

He was singing. "I tried to put one in the ay yah" then asked me who sang the song. I told him Solange. He said "Oh, I rocks with that song, but I like Beyonce better". And I looked at him and asked him why he needed to bring up Beyonce in a discussion about Cranes in The Sky. He said because he likes Beyonce's music. I said BUT THAT IS NOT A BEYONCE SONG THOUGH. Here's the thing....... If you hear me talking about something I love while comparing it to something I don't like, pay close attention. Ask yourself if I can talk about the thing I love WITHOUT mentioning the thing I don't. If I can, ask me why I brought up the thing I don't love. Chances are I could have accomplished praising what I loved and showering it with adoration WITHOUT thinking about the thing I don't. This is a bad habit we have in 2017. We stubbornly refuse to acknowledge what we love without including what we don't. Hell, we go on social media and talk about the

I don't know if I can think of a woman, black woman more specifically, who is more polarizing in 2017 than Beyonce'. She announced today that she was pregnant with twins. And like clockwork, people on the far right and others on the far left took to social media to stand (either up or down) for Beyonce and her announcement. She's been called a distraction, a queen, and a lot of things in between. I joked on social media before about putting in an application for the BeyHive when she dropped Lemonade. I'm not a hater, nor am I a stan. I sit right in the middle. I enjoy listening to and dancing to her music. I enjoy watching her perform. I'd never pay to see her live. And while I think that she's arguably the greatest performer in my children's generation, I have the benefit of having lived long enough to know other great performers. It's the first day of February. It's officially Black History Month. For some of us, it's a time to celebrate ou

I realized today that depression is creeping up on me. Even though it's not a crippling or debilitating version of it, it's taking its toll on me. I noticed it around Day 5 of 365 . The happiness, euphoria, and motivation that started mid-December are declining. So I'm sitting here trying to figure out what happened. Was it something specific that happened? Is this PMS? Am I dehydrated? Are there things that are bothering me or worrying me that I'm not completely aware of? Have I experienced an overt or subtle change? Am I getting enough of the right kinds of foods? Is something unresolved? Is someone bothering me? WHAT IS GOING ON?  I realized that I'm in an ebb and it became especially clear to me when I talked to someone about my feelings about some doctor's appointments that I had. While I told myself that whatever the outcome of the visits was, I'd be fine, I didn't consider the emotions leading up and immediately after to the visits. I didn&

I woke up this morning feeling a little blah. A quick check of my social media accounts led to me feeling inadequate about my current situation with respect to my business and brand ventures. I had to dig deep to process and figure out why the feeling was able to creep up on me. *this is where I get real with myself and you get to watch* Most of what I've "accomplished" in terms of any kind of business or branding effort is now being re-evaluated. I was one of the people who had an idea and got excited about the idea of executing the idea. Then after the idea was executed, I wondered why the "success" of the idea never really reached its full potential. I measured success by the amount of people I could get to support. I went through the motions like a lot of people do. I expected my friends and family to show up to support me. I pouted and took to social media with vents when they didn't. I couldn't understand why people wouldn't flock to this