When Feeling Inadequate is Actually Appropriate
I woke up this morning feeling a little blah. A quick check of my social media accounts led to me feeling inadequate about my current situation with respect to my business and brand ventures. I had to dig deep to process and figure out why the feeling was able to creep up on me.
*this is where I get real with myself and you get to watch*
Most of what I've "accomplished" in terms of any kind of business or branding effort is now being re-evaluated. I was one of the people who had an idea and got excited about the idea of executing the idea. Then after the idea was executed, I wondered why the "success" of the idea never really reached its full potential. I measured success by the amount of people I could get to support.
I went through the motions like a lot of people do. I expected my friends and family to show up to support me. I pouted and took to social media with vents when they didn't. I couldn't understand why people wouldn't flock to this "good thing" that I had. After all, the people who DID show up consistently told me how necessary and great it was. Why couldn't everybody else see it and show up too?
It wasn't until I required myself to learn about business for The Black Money Matters Project that the veil of ignorance on my part began to be removed. I learned more about target markets (so that I could explain it to business owners when we consulted) and a light came on....brightly I might add. Friends and family MAY NOT be my target market. If they are, that's great. If they are not, THEY ARE NOT.
*invites you to join me down the rabbit hole*
So now that I've learned more about target market, I know I have to keep learning about various aspects of business....for myself and so that I can inform others. Now I can see why I didn't have the "success" I thought I was supposed to have. Now I can see what success really is for me. Now I am very aware of what I have to learn in order to lay an appropriate foundation for that success.
This is where the feelings of inadequacy come back in and have a seat. I know that I've built a thing. Where did I go wrong while building that thing? Do I tear the whole thing down and start over? Do I remodel what is already there? Do I just sit in the corner and cry and hope it works itself out? Do I say "to hell with all of this" and walk away?
As I'm processing through this, I realize that feelings of inadequacy are just a normal part of the process. THIS is the process for the steps that I've taken thus far. Inadequacy is right on schedule. I haven't "gone wrong" on my journey. I've gained wisdom for sure. Every step I took brought me here. And here will get me to the next spot.
And while feeling inadequate doesn't feel good, the feeling doesn't last forever. I accept that this is a reaction to my perception of my journey. I don't rush through the feelings. I don't try to make them go away. I don't try to distract myself from them. I just sit with them and watch them and let them tire themselves out until they leave on their own. Feelings get bigger and bolder when I try to push them around. So I give them room to do whatever it is that they need to do (within healthy boundaries). I avoid asking for advice in the beginning because I've learned that the feelings (especially the most uncomfortable ones) are there to show me ME. Most people want to make others feel better. I don't want to "feel better". I want to feel my feelings.
Are there times when it's inconvenient or overwhelming to feel certain feelings? Of course. But I imagine that there is some kind of issue that gets created when we sabotage, dull, or avoid them. And I don't want an extra issue ON TOP of what I'm already feeling. That's just too much. Dealing with feelings is already a task.
So anyway, I woke up this morning feeling inadequate. If I'm still feeling inadequate tomorrow, I'll figure it out then. For now, I'll sit with the feelings and let them do what they do.
Thanks for reading.
E.G.
*this is where I get real with myself and you get to watch*
Most of what I've "accomplished" in terms of any kind of business or branding effort is now being re-evaluated. I was one of the people who had an idea and got excited about the idea of executing the idea. Then after the idea was executed, I wondered why the "success" of the idea never really reached its full potential. I measured success by the amount of people I could get to support.
I went through the motions like a lot of people do. I expected my friends and family to show up to support me. I pouted and took to social media with vents when they didn't. I couldn't understand why people wouldn't flock to this "good thing" that I had. After all, the people who DID show up consistently told me how necessary and great it was. Why couldn't everybody else see it and show up too?
It wasn't until I required myself to learn about business for The Black Money Matters Project that the veil of ignorance on my part began to be removed. I learned more about target markets (so that I could explain it to business owners when we consulted) and a light came on....brightly I might add. Friends and family MAY NOT be my target market. If they are, that's great. If they are not, THEY ARE NOT.
*invites you to join me down the rabbit hole*
So now that I've learned more about target market, I know I have to keep learning about various aspects of business....for myself and so that I can inform others. Now I can see why I didn't have the "success" I thought I was supposed to have. Now I can see what success really is for me. Now I am very aware of what I have to learn in order to lay an appropriate foundation for that success.
This is where the feelings of inadequacy come back in and have a seat. I know that I've built a thing. Where did I go wrong while building that thing? Do I tear the whole thing down and start over? Do I remodel what is already there? Do I just sit in the corner and cry and hope it works itself out? Do I say "to hell with all of this" and walk away?
As I'm processing through this, I realize that feelings of inadequacy are just a normal part of the process. THIS is the process for the steps that I've taken thus far. Inadequacy is right on schedule. I haven't "gone wrong" on my journey. I've gained wisdom for sure. Every step I took brought me here. And here will get me to the next spot.
And while feeling inadequate doesn't feel good, the feeling doesn't last forever. I accept that this is a reaction to my perception of my journey. I don't rush through the feelings. I don't try to make them go away. I don't try to distract myself from them. I just sit with them and watch them and let them tire themselves out until they leave on their own. Feelings get bigger and bolder when I try to push them around. So I give them room to do whatever it is that they need to do (within healthy boundaries). I avoid asking for advice in the beginning because I've learned that the feelings (especially the most uncomfortable ones) are there to show me ME. Most people want to make others feel better. I don't want to "feel better". I want to feel my feelings.
Are there times when it's inconvenient or overwhelming to feel certain feelings? Of course. But I imagine that there is some kind of issue that gets created when we sabotage, dull, or avoid them. And I don't want an extra issue ON TOP of what I'm already feeling. That's just too much. Dealing with feelings is already a task.
So anyway, I woke up this morning feeling inadequate. If I'm still feeling inadequate tomorrow, I'll figure it out then. For now, I'll sit with the feelings and let them do what they do.
Thanks for reading.
E.G.
You said that Sis!!!
ReplyDelete"Feelings get bigger and bolder when I try to push them around." .... This is so darn true. Great conclusion. It will get better, then maybe "worse" again, then better again. It's all part of the process and yes sometimes when we look around us we measure our own success level by that. I struggle with that too and have to give myself breaks also and trust the process after examining myself to see if I am doing all that I should be doing every time!!