When you need for me to be wrong
I recently had a pretty bad argument with someone I used to be close to. The argument was about time. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a stickler for time. I show up to work at least 15 minutes early each day on average. When someone is having an event, I show up at the event start time. I calculate travel time, traffic, parking, etc into my commute. I plan accordingly. I let people know what my approximate arrival time will be. People who know me will agree.
So when the people who know me feel as though they don't have to respect my respect for time, I get upset. Waiting for someone for more than 20 minutes is ridiculous to me. I understand that things happen. I understand that life gets in the way. But I'm not talking about those situations. I'm talking about someone intentionally choosing to manipulate my schedule because they do not want to adhere to it. And they don't want to tell me ahead of time that the schedule doesn't work for them.
What does this have to do with someone needing me to be wrong? I'll tell you. When you know who I am or I tell you who I am and you don't listen, don't pay attention, or just flat out ignore what I tell you, when I show you who I am, why would you be upset? Why would you "blame" me for being who I am? Someone once told me that being angry is a choice. I agree. And sometimes, I choose to exercise the option of showing anger. And sometimes, people want me to be wrong for reacting.
You need for me to be wrong when you can't accept the outcome of our interaction because then that means you don't have to look at yourself. You don't have to look at the situation. You don't have to reflect. You can just shove "blame" down my throat and wash your hands. "It's YOUR fault" falls from your lips as if I was the only participant in our interaction. You didn't sign up for shit right? You didn't invest who you are right? You didn't make any mistakes right?
You need for me to be wrong because then you can save what you destroyed. You can walk away unscathed because it's "all on me". I had to learn the hard way to watch out for people who take residence in Victimland....the kind of people who pretend as if everything that occurs in the realm of their existence is someone else's doing. They can't take credit for the positive things because it's luck. They don't take responsibility for the negative things because it's you. I stopped paying rent at the house I had in Victimland and it kind of sucks now that when I do wrong and want to try to make things right, I can't because my old neighbors are still there living it up. When I want to try to come to some understanding, I can't because my old neighbors are still throwing pity parties every weekend.
A wise woman once said "Don't go to the hardware store looking for bread". Expecting a victim to act like less than a victim is doing just that. I guess I'm frustrated because I'd prefer for things to be "right". And by right I mean having people who NEED for me to be wrong to not need it at all. I know when I'm wrong. I also know that I'm smart enough to not have someone else's NEED be my truth.You stay hostage in that need and I'll be sitting here knowing why you can't find the peace that you need.
So when the people who know me feel as though they don't have to respect my respect for time, I get upset. Waiting for someone for more than 20 minutes is ridiculous to me. I understand that things happen. I understand that life gets in the way. But I'm not talking about those situations. I'm talking about someone intentionally choosing to manipulate my schedule because they do not want to adhere to it. And they don't want to tell me ahead of time that the schedule doesn't work for them.
What does this have to do with someone needing me to be wrong? I'll tell you. When you know who I am or I tell you who I am and you don't listen, don't pay attention, or just flat out ignore what I tell you, when I show you who I am, why would you be upset? Why would you "blame" me for being who I am? Someone once told me that being angry is a choice. I agree. And sometimes, I choose to exercise the option of showing anger. And sometimes, people want me to be wrong for reacting.
You need for me to be wrong when you can't accept the outcome of our interaction because then that means you don't have to look at yourself. You don't have to look at the situation. You don't have to reflect. You can just shove "blame" down my throat and wash your hands. "It's YOUR fault" falls from your lips as if I was the only participant in our interaction. You didn't sign up for shit right? You didn't invest who you are right? You didn't make any mistakes right?
You need for me to be wrong because then you can save what you destroyed. You can walk away unscathed because it's "all on me". I had to learn the hard way to watch out for people who take residence in Victimland....the kind of people who pretend as if everything that occurs in the realm of their existence is someone else's doing. They can't take credit for the positive things because it's luck. They don't take responsibility for the negative things because it's you. I stopped paying rent at the house I had in Victimland and it kind of sucks now that when I do wrong and want to try to make things right, I can't because my old neighbors are still there living it up. When I want to try to come to some understanding, I can't because my old neighbors are still throwing pity parties every weekend.
A wise woman once said "Don't go to the hardware store looking for bread". Expecting a victim to act like less than a victim is doing just that. I guess I'm frustrated because I'd prefer for things to be "right". And by right I mean having people who NEED for me to be wrong to not need it at all. I know when I'm wrong. I also know that I'm smart enough to not have someone else's NEED be my truth.You stay hostage in that need and I'll be sitting here knowing why you can't find the peace that you need.
Comments
Post a Comment