Failing to accept

*disclaimer* SO SORRY for the vagueness of this post....

So for a while now, I've been struggling hard at accepting a certain thing in my life. When I think about the situation thoroughly, it's not answers that I'm looking for. I have the answers to any question that I have about the situation. I was asked whether or not I needed closure. Because I have the answers, I'm thinking I have closure. For me, closure would be about clarification. I don't need clarification about what happened. I was more present at the time than it appeared on the outside.

So I'm baffled because I don't know what it is about this situation that I can't seem to let it go and just accept that it was what it was. I thought it was control. But it doesn't feel quite like control so much. I asked myself if I was done processing it. I know I am not. I asked myself if time will improve this. I am sure it will. Is this just a case of me failing to allow time to do what it does? When I think about it, I don't NOT want to accept what happened. I do want to accept it. I want to accept it...and learn from it....(which I think I did)....and grow from it....(which I believe I did)....and embrace it....(which I'm working on)....and grow some more from it....(which I believe is happening). *shrugs*

I needed to purge. Thanks for listening.

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