From a woman's point of view

*disclaimer: When women begin to see that quality of our perceptions, decisions, and choices regarding men need to become healthier, women will begin to see our relationships with men get healthier*

When I think about relationships, my mind gets stuck. I think about how nice it is to have a companion and a friend and someone to be close to. And then I think about not seeing eye-to-eye, giving up, and frustration. I'm not sure that I've ever witnessed a healthy relationship in action. I know I've never been a part of one.

I watch the people close to me participate in relationships that are unhealthy physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I ask myself, "where is the love?" Over the weekend, I witnessed women accepting much less than what they deserve in relationships. I watched a friend cry for the first time because her boyfriend refuses to grow as an individual. He insists on rejecting acceptance of responsibility for his life. I wonder why she chose him.
I watch another friend tolerate blatant disrespect from a man who clearly dislikes her as a human being. When I ask her why does she still deal with him, her answer is "I know, I know". I wonder why she stays. I think about why I did.

I have another friend whose sig other is violent both mentally and physically towards her. She knows that she can do better but I don't believe she believes she deserves better. She puts him out of the house to "teach him a lesson" with the hopes that THIS TIME he'll get his shit together.
Thinking about all this dysfunctionality makes me sad. Just once, I'd like to witness a healthy exchange between two adults. I'd like to see love in action if for nothing else, for inspiration. It's my opinion that people get together for very shallow and superficial reasons and then stay together out of fear of loneliness. "Someone once said that the lonely side will make you stay now that you know you want it."

I know that the quality of our lives is dependent on the quality of the choices we make. NO MAN can make us happy or unhappy. In respect to our relationships, our happiness or discontent is a direct result of our reaction to his actions or inaction. I think about how women center their lives around finding, getting, and keeping a man. I think about how women are taught that they're only half a human being if they don't have a mate. A high level of self-worth is contigent upon being attached to another.

Here's where I get cynical:
We're to blame for all that's wrong with the world (HELLO EVE!!). We're to blame when our kids aren't quality citizens (cuz mama is the first teacher). We are looked at as ornaments for men cuz if God didn't think men needed us, we would have never been created. Religions don't give us our props. Societies don't value our input. Hell, we don't even like each other!  Our core components (a.k.a. being nurturing, caring, emotional, having intuition, etc.) are not taken seriously.

End here!

I'm not saying all of this for sympathy. I'm not saying this because I want or need a pat on my back. I really just wanted people to read it and think about it and know that women are important. And we're not important in relation to men. WE ARE IMPORTANT PERIOD. We have value by virtue of the fact that we are here. We don't need anything else to stand on that point.

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