The word for today is COMMITMENT

I realized today that I've never committed myself to a relationship before. I've been in a few yes. I've given myself the impression  tricked myself into believing that I was committed to the relationship yes. Thinking about it retrospectively though, I never was. I say this because I always walked into the relationship with an exit strategy. I've always had a plan of what (or WHO if I'm keeping it real) I was gonna do when things went sour. It wasn't until now that I realize that you can't hold on to a relationship with one foot outside the door. The door can't even be cracked. It has to be closed. The ability to open the door needs to remain but when a commitment is made to a relationship, the door cannot remain open. Having an open door means, to me, that the options for dealing with the inevitable trials and tribulations of the relationship are OUTSIDE of the relationship. When the door is closed, FOR ME, that means I have to use what's in the space to deal with what's going on. And if I decide to open the door, my partner is aware of the fact that it's opened. And hopefully we walk through the door TOGETHER to find what we need and walk back into the room TOGETHER after we've gathered our tools. This is my second evolutionary ponderation of 2012 and I needed to share it. It was a beautiful discovery for me.


 

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