Father Time was a friend of mine
I said WAS...or at least I thought he was. I thought I understood him. I thought I figured him out. Nah son. What I DID do was try to put him in my pocket. I tried to make him do what I wanted him to do. I tried to use him to manipulate people, situations, and things. It's really just dawning on me right now how absolutely tyrannical and indignant I can be when it comes to time. And because there was an immediate benefit to me being that way, I justified staying that way.
I thought something was wrong with people who didn't have (what I considered it to be) respect for time. I just didn't understand them. I didn't want to. All I knew was I took pride in showing up early. I took pride in showing up on time. I was proud to say that I didn't keep people waiting on me. I was proud to say that I was reliable. I can say with a little bit of disgust that I was borderline obsessive about managing time. And because people who show up early or on time are generally viewed in a positive light, there were little to no repercussions to being present when I was supposed to be.
The problem comes in when I have to deal with other people. And since I ALWAYS have to deal with other people, I seem to always have had an issue of some sorts with time. Getting the kids ready for school, waiting to be picked up from work, driving in traffic, waiting for people to show up for events, waiting for events to start, waiting rooms for doctor's appointment, waiting for people to do their job, doing my job on time, figuring out how to get it done when I needed to, figuring out how to get it done when someone else needed me to, letting things fall through the cracks, creating cracks by being so rigid, widening cracks by being too flexible....it's all just.....*sigh*
Someone told me a week ago that I don't have respect for other people's time. I was offended by that statement because I consider myself to be a person who is both aware and considerate of other people's time. What I realized though is that I have very little respect for other people's time management when it does not resemble my own. I actually get disgusted when I have to think about dealing with some people because of how they manage their time. I make a decision to go numb or to avoid dealing with them in certain situations. Accepting them wasn't even on the table.
It's like I know that time is precious but I treat it like an irresponsible 12 year old. I'm viewing it all wrong.....especially when I know that everything happens in its own time for reasons that contribute to the greater good. It's refreshing to be able to see myself the way other people see me right now. It's good to know that I will eventually be able to relax. I know the people I put on edge will be much happier. I don't have to be neurotic about what happens and when. I can be aware. I can still be on time. More importantly though, I can trust the process. TRUST THE PROCESS. TRUST! THE! PROCESS! And instead of trying to be a time dictator, I can manage my own life and affairs more appropriately and be happy with the fruits of that labor.
And perhaps when it's all said and done, I can make REAL friends with Father Time. Instead of calling myself a friend and being something else in the process.
Thank you for reading!
I thought something was wrong with people who didn't have (what I considered it to be) respect for time. I just didn't understand them. I didn't want to. All I knew was I took pride in showing up early. I took pride in showing up on time. I was proud to say that I didn't keep people waiting on me. I was proud to say that I was reliable. I can say with a little bit of disgust that I was borderline obsessive about managing time. And because people who show up early or on time are generally viewed in a positive light, there were little to no repercussions to being present when I was supposed to be.
The problem comes in when I have to deal with other people. And since I ALWAYS have to deal with other people, I seem to always have had an issue of some sorts with time. Getting the kids ready for school, waiting to be picked up from work, driving in traffic, waiting for people to show up for events, waiting for events to start, waiting rooms for doctor's appointment, waiting for people to do their job, doing my job on time, figuring out how to get it done when I needed to, figuring out how to get it done when someone else needed me to, letting things fall through the cracks, creating cracks by being so rigid, widening cracks by being too flexible....it's all just.....*sigh*
Someone told me a week ago that I don't have respect for other people's time. I was offended by that statement because I consider myself to be a person who is both aware and considerate of other people's time. What I realized though is that I have very little respect for other people's time management when it does not resemble my own. I actually get disgusted when I have to think about dealing with some people because of how they manage their time. I make a decision to go numb or to avoid dealing with them in certain situations. Accepting them wasn't even on the table.
It's like I know that time is precious but I treat it like an irresponsible 12 year old. I'm viewing it all wrong.....especially when I know that everything happens in its own time for reasons that contribute to the greater good. It's refreshing to be able to see myself the way other people see me right now. It's good to know that I will eventually be able to relax. I know the people I put on edge will be much happier. I don't have to be neurotic about what happens and when. I can be aware. I can still be on time. More importantly though, I can trust the process. TRUST THE PROCESS. TRUST! THE! PROCESS! And instead of trying to be a time dictator, I can manage my own life and affairs more appropriately and be happy with the fruits of that labor.
And perhaps when it's all said and done, I can make REAL friends with Father Time. Instead of calling myself a friend and being something else in the process.
Thank you for reading!
I feel you. I had the same feelings of being the ONLY one to get somewhere on time and having people mismanage their time, which affected MY time. I imagined that people would understand that things would flow better if we all did things in a timely fashion, but at the same time...who was I to determine what time that should be? Totally get it.
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