Making my very own Prince Charming

If I took all the good qualities from the frogs that I've kissed in my day, I think I could put together a wonderful collage and end up with my Prince Charming. *No disrespect to the frogs* With each kiss, I found myself moving closer and closer to my ideal, but it seemed like there was always something that was missing. Either he possessed the charm, but lacked knowledge. Or he possessed knowledge, but lacked emotional intelligence. If he was emotionally intelligent, he didn't look like my prince. If he looked like my prince, he lacked the mentality of him. It takes a lot of talent to find men over and over who come close to what I was looking for in a mate. It takes a lot more talent to to try to build with them. Or is that foolishness? Tomato, to MAH toe!!! Thinking about my most recent experiences, I've come to realize AGAIN that there is something strange working in this subconscious mind of mine that compels me make choices that lead to suffering. All these men have been unavailable in one way or another. As much as I claim to not want to be alone, here I am...running on an almost full tank of gas with no destination. One of these days, I'm going to wake up and realize that sitting still and building my house of love are great things. One of these days, I'm going to stop justifying having frogs on speed dial so that I can "learn these life lessons". One of these days, I'm going to resist the impulse to kiss and put my lip gloss away. One of these days, I'm going to remember that fairy tales are for books and not for my real life or my heart. If it's damn near impossible for a man to turn a hoe into a housewife, why would I even consider believing that I (in all my womanly glory) can turn a frog into a prince? How about I just keep my eyes open for what it is that I'm looking for and stop believing that a struggle comes in the beginning of the relationship? Love is the reward for the find not for the struggle.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What leaving Facebook showed me about myself

This will probably end up being a listicle (list/article)......because energy..... What leaving Facebook for a little under 2 weeks showed me about myself: 1. I was absolutely addicted to logging in and interacting with the toxicity on FB. I aggravated anxiety, triggered myself, and could not find the strength to turn away most days. I was annoyed with people and their thoughts, their opinions, their pity parties, their expression, and just them. But I could not find the strength to turn away most days. 2. I tricked myself into believing that I could manage the addiction (because that's what addiction looks like). I unfollowed people, muted people, unfriended people, blocked people, tried to stay on my own timeline, and tried to only go to certain people's pages. INSTEAD OF LOGGING OUT AND OFF so I am admitting to myself and to other people that my life became unmanageable. 3. I only claimed I wanted to be successful. I didn't do the things I knew I needed to do to
Read more

An Honest Assessment of My Love Life

So they say we date at our self-esteem levels. It must be at the bottom of the level. I’m laughing to myself as I type this, but I’m very serious. I’ve never dated what I consider to be a high quality man. I’m not sure I’ve ever even attracted one. I ask myself do I consider myself to be a high quality woman. Parts of me say yes and parts of me say no. The parts of me that say yes are the parts that know that I can be sweet, caring, and nurturing. The parts of me that say yes know that I am smart, ambitious, and talented. Those parts don’t attract men to me though. Not closely anyway. Those parts attract my admirers. Those parts attract the men who want to partner with me to get work done. The parts of me that I don’t consider to be high quality are the parts of me that make their way to the surface and find my partners. These men are not transparent. They are not honest. They have very questionable levels of integrity. They are not growing at the same pace that I want to grow. Are th
Read more

Beyonce, Trump, and The War on Black Unity

I don't know if I can think of a woman, black woman more specifically, who is more polarizing in 2017 than Beyonce'. She announced today that she was pregnant with twins. And like clockwork, people on the far right and others on the far left took to social media to stand (either up or down) for Beyonce and her announcement. She's been called a distraction, a queen, and a lot of things in between. I joked on social media before about putting in an application for the BeyHive when she dropped Lemonade. I'm not a hater, nor am I a stan. I sit right in the middle. I enjoy listening to and dancing to her music. I enjoy watching her perform. I'd never pay to see her live. And while I think that she's arguably the greatest performer in my children's generation, I have the benefit of having lived long enough to know other great performers. It's the first day of February. It's officially Black History Month. For some of us, it's a time to celebrate ou
Read more