The Evolution of Perspective

I need to spend some time alone. I don't know how plausible that idea is since I have children but I'm sure I could work something out. But I realize that I need to spend some time alone. I need to think. I feel myself devolving.....again. I know that I'm stressed. I know that I'm frustrated because I'm sitting in my shortcomings and wishing that they weren't there. I know that I'm frustrated because I have an attitude with people I don't know and a more serious one with the people who are close to me. I'm not accepting life on life's terms. I'm attracting chaos into my space. I'm attracting situations that reinforce the need to be angry. This is the opposite of good. I'm at work not wanting to work. I'm running around in circles trying to move The Evolution of Perspective forward. My thoughts are jumbled and I haven't been motivated to write. I haven't been motivated to read. I haven't been motivated to find new mus...

I've been talking to people about relationships for a little under 4 years now. I've been making it a Perspectives Rap Session discussion topic since last year (I believe). In that time, I've held some pretty dysfunctional romantic connections. One of them hurt me in a way that I don't believe I've ever experienced before. For the first time I could remember, my presence in someone's life was way more of a problem than a benefit (before, during, AND after that is). And that problem spilled over into so many other aspects of my life and his. That's the nature of addiction though. I remember being "in" the connection and thinking about my level of hypocrisy. How was it that I'm having open, honest discussions about quality in relationships when I'm knee-deep in some bullshit? I knew I had to get out of it. He did too. And we did. It was ugly and it changed my life but I'm glad it's over. The last connection wasn't as bad emotio...

While I appreciate you all for reading this, please note that this post is for ME even though it's about YOU....I need to hammer a nail into a coffin so excuse me while I get my bang on..... Once you know what you want...and more importantly what you need, when you look at your current situation and see that it's neither of the two, how long does it take for you to make a clean break and move forward? I feel like I'm losing my mojo. I've had so many conversations today that were about relationships and relating and my head is spinning. I'm doing a show about healthy relationships and did one already about intimate relationship abuse. Nobody wants to admit that their relationship is unhealthy and nobody minus ten wants to admit that he/she is being abused in a relationship. People are always talking about how we're jumping ship in our relationships...about how nobody is in it for the long haul. I definitely call bullshit on that statement because those people...

So apparently, up until recently I had an incomplete definition of what it means to have a friend. And according to my most recent experiences, I had even less of a clue than what I originally thought of what it means to be a friend. While I haven't processed my thoughts completely, something inside of me feels like I'm operating off of a 1979-1980ish definition of friendship. (I was born in the 70's btw). I thought I was doing some slick growing up type stuff by disconnecting myself from people, places, and things that no longer served "the new and improved" me. I thought I was helping myself out by "not taking any crap" off the people who had known me long enough to know better. I thought that was a great part of my E.Volution. Nobody was off limits except my children. Anybody could get the ax. I bragged to people about it and shunned people who weren't able to do it. How dare you allow people to occupy space in your world when they clearly haven...