I'm not Cinderella
Of course I'm not. I'm Ellen Gee. 
Sorry for yelling. Ok, so here I am, sitting here finishing up all the things I had on my list to do today. Well NOT ALL. The important and urgent things are what I accomplished today. I woke up with a stress headache. I'm sure it's 98% PMS related. WHATEVER!
Anyway, I'm sitting here going through my email and one of my favorite YouTubers dropped a new video recapping a popular television show that I've never watched because I threw all the babies out with the bath water when it came to tv. THANK MY AFRICAN GAWDDESS for modern technology though because I can watch the show at my leisure (whatever that is) and make a determination for myself if it's something worth my extra time (whenever that happens).
One of the points she made was about one of the women characters needing to be rescued. That got me to thinking about a book I tried reading a long time ago called The Cinderella Complex. I say tried because during that point in my life, I tried to read a LOT of books. I think I only read 4....MAYBE....tops. The premise of The Cinderella Complex though, is this idea that women never really get in touch with their independence because we're conditioned to accept the idea that a man is supposed to come along at some point and "save" us. Never mind that we have no real idea about what he's saving us from....or what he is saving us FOR for real.
It can't be this BIG BAD WORLD because we're not supposed to fully digest the notion that the world is an unsafe place. The world has some unsafe places yes. The people in the world create some unsafe situations and scenarios yes. But the world overall is not supposed to be viewed as unsafe place.....unless you're a woman or a child. HMPPPHHHH
Anyway, back to this Cinderella thingy. So I start thinking about all the ways in which I am the antithesis of what Cinderella represented for so many women and girls. I've never relied on a man to take care of me. My dad was not around until I hit my 30s. I've never relied on a man to maintain a certain lifestyle. Even when I was married, I didn't position myself to live too far outside of my means. I've stopped relying on men to validate me. (By the time I realized I was caught up in looking for their approval, I went to the other extreme and started rejecting most of their opinions of me completely). I don't rely on men to support me financially. I'm not dainty. I'm not mostly soft. I'm not helpless. I'm just not her.
*disclaimer: I am going to state for the record that the things that I have mentioned that I am not are in NO WAY a judgment about women who have these attributes, characteristics, traits, etc. DO YOU BOO*
Where was I? Oh yeah, I'm not helpless. I like to think of myself as a woman who is able to do for self like the adult woman I am should. Cinderella needed to be saved. I know enough to know that I would feel some kind of way about myself if I had to rely on someone else to "save me".....medical professionals aside. I am also making a clear distinction between being saved and being helped. I used to reject help. I've learned to embrace it. I've learned to ask for it when I need it.
Cinderella seemed TO ME to be someone who needed to have her life handed to her. I like the idea of being empowered enough to create my own experiences. When I think about the things that I desire in a relationship, help doesn't come to mind. Support does. Maybe it's semantics....who knows but I like to be able to handle mine. Companionship, friendship, love, sex, and support. Those are the things I desire. Those are the things I want and deserve. Ain't no glass slippers over here bih.....
*looks at my pumps, tennis shoes, boots, and flats*
Sorry for yelling. Ok, so here I am, sitting here finishing up all the things I had on my list to do today. Well NOT ALL. The important and urgent things are what I accomplished today. I woke up with a stress headache. I'm sure it's 98% PMS related. WHATEVER!
Anyway, I'm sitting here going through my email and one of my favorite YouTubers dropped a new video recapping a popular television show that I've never watched because I threw all the babies out with the bath water when it came to tv. THANK MY AFRICAN GAWDDESS for modern technology though because I can watch the show at my leisure (whatever that is) and make a determination for myself if it's something worth my extra time (whenever that happens).
One of the points she made was about one of the women characters needing to be rescued. That got me to thinking about a book I tried reading a long time ago called The Cinderella Complex. I say tried because during that point in my life, I tried to read a LOT of books. I think I only read 4....MAYBE....tops. The premise of The Cinderella Complex though, is this idea that women never really get in touch with their independence because we're conditioned to accept the idea that a man is supposed to come along at some point and "save" us. Never mind that we have no real idea about what he's saving us from....or what he is saving us FOR for real.
It can't be this BIG BAD WORLD because we're not supposed to fully digest the notion that the world is an unsafe place. The world has some unsafe places yes. The people in the world create some unsafe situations and scenarios yes. But the world overall is not supposed to be viewed as unsafe place.....unless you're a woman or a child. HMPPPHHHH
Anyway, back to this Cinderella thingy. So I start thinking about all the ways in which I am the antithesis of what Cinderella represented for so many women and girls. I've never relied on a man to take care of me. My dad was not around until I hit my 30s. I've never relied on a man to maintain a certain lifestyle. Even when I was married, I didn't position myself to live too far outside of my means. I've stopped relying on men to validate me. (By the time I realized I was caught up in looking for their approval, I went to the other extreme and started rejecting most of their opinions of me completely). I don't rely on men to support me financially. I'm not dainty. I'm not mostly soft. I'm not helpless. I'm just not her.
*disclaimer: I am going to state for the record that the things that I have mentioned that I am not are in NO WAY a judgment about women who have these attributes, characteristics, traits, etc. DO YOU BOO*
Where was I? Oh yeah, I'm not helpless. I like to think of myself as a woman who is able to do for self like the adult woman I am should. Cinderella needed to be saved. I know enough to know that I would feel some kind of way about myself if I had to rely on someone else to "save me".....medical professionals aside. I am also making a clear distinction between being saved and being helped. I used to reject help. I've learned to embrace it. I've learned to ask for it when I need it.
Cinderella seemed TO ME to be someone who needed to have her life handed to her. I like the idea of being empowered enough to create my own experiences. When I think about the things that I desire in a relationship, help doesn't come to mind. Support does. Maybe it's semantics....who knows but I like to be able to handle mine. Companionship, friendship, love, sex, and support. Those are the things I desire. Those are the things I want and deserve. Ain't no glass slippers over here bih.....
*looks at my pumps, tennis shoes, boots, and flats*
WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHope the headache is better by now.
ReplyDeleteMy understanding of Cinderella is that the dude saves her from her abusive family. In modern context I can imagine there possibly being psychological damage for one in such a situation to make it not so easy to save oneself and there are in fact resources out there to assist with this (counseling, foster homes, etc.). Perhaps these other resources weren't available in the setting of story, but dude was still a means of escaping the abuse.
Considering this, back in modern day if a female isn't in an abusive family, I'm not sure what she would need saving from either.