Stating the obvious - Life Lessons
I have a lot of male friends. I have two brothers. I have some male acquaintances. I have some exes. I was having a conversation with one of my male friends and it dawned on me once again that as much as women pride themselves on being the 'smarter' sex, it never ceases to amaze me how much we play ourselves by not paying attention to the very people who we claim to want and allude to being superior to.
*disclaimer* I am not speaking about all women or all men in this blog. I, however, do not want to continue to write some 700 times. *end disclaimer*
This imagined intellectual and emotional superiority leaves a lot of us with our feelings hurts. When you think that you're smarter than someone, it's easy to underestimate who and what they are. The greatest lesson that I got out of my conversation last night was that for men, time and money are important. It's not that I didn't know it before. I learned it in a different way last night. If he's giving you both, it's more than likely because he feels that you're important to him. If he's not giving you either, well....*clears my throat*. If he has both and is only giving you one, that means something also. It might not mean that he cares less about you. It does, however, mean something.
The fact that men are so action oriented and task focused helps me to understand them a whole lot better today. If he likes you, you get his time, attention, affection, and other things that are important to him. If he only likes you a little, you only get a little. If he doesn't like you much at all, he'll ration it out to you enough to keep you on the roster. If he values your contribution to the friendship, he'll keep in touch. If he thinks you're interesting, he'll want to get to know you. If he wants to hear from you, he'll reach out. It's not that hard to understand once you get the hang of it. If he's not doing these things, you're probably not what you think you are to him......unless he's just horrible at managing his own life, but THAT is a whole 'notha story!
Anyway, I say all of this to say that making excuses for negligent behavior from someone who claims to be interested in you is foolish. If he doesn't give you what you want or what he claims he wants you to have (and has it to give), he's not as serious as you want him to be and there's a high likelihood that he's distracted because he's rationing out his gifts.
Again, this isn't the case for all men. Just most of the ones I have paid attention to. If he's able to manage his life but not your part in it, be aware and make the appropriate choices. Your feelings and your sanity kinda depends on it.
*disclaimer* I am not speaking about all women or all men in this blog. I, however, do not want to continue to write some 700 times. *end disclaimer*
This imagined intellectual and emotional superiority leaves a lot of us with our feelings hurts. When you think that you're smarter than someone, it's easy to underestimate who and what they are. The greatest lesson that I got out of my conversation last night was that for men, time and money are important. It's not that I didn't know it before. I learned it in a different way last night. If he's giving you both, it's more than likely because he feels that you're important to him. If he's not giving you either, well....*clears my throat*. If he has both and is only giving you one, that means something also. It might not mean that he cares less about you. It does, however, mean something.
The fact that men are so action oriented and task focused helps me to understand them a whole lot better today. If he likes you, you get his time, attention, affection, and other things that are important to him. If he only likes you a little, you only get a little. If he doesn't like you much at all, he'll ration it out to you enough to keep you on the roster. If he values your contribution to the friendship, he'll keep in touch. If he thinks you're interesting, he'll want to get to know you. If he wants to hear from you, he'll reach out. It's not that hard to understand once you get the hang of it. If he's not doing these things, you're probably not what you think you are to him......unless he's just horrible at managing his own life, but THAT is a whole 'notha story!
Anyway, I say all of this to say that making excuses for negligent behavior from someone who claims to be interested in you is foolish. If he doesn't give you what you want or what he claims he wants you to have (and has it to give), he's not as serious as you want him to be and there's a high likelihood that he's distracted because he's rationing out his gifts.
Again, this isn't the case for all men. Just most of the ones I have paid attention to. If he's able to manage his life but not your part in it, be aware and make the appropriate choices. Your feelings and your sanity kinda depends on it.
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