The Evolution of Perspective

You ever sit back and look at your life and wonder to yourself how you keep ending up in the same situations over and over again? There is something painfully disappointing about being stuck in a cycle of habit-initiated decisions. The fact that I put myself there could make me feel worse if I let it. Seeking the familiar only works when I'm avoiding danger. It doesn't work well when I'm trying to live. It works even less while trying to E.Volve. There are so many aspects of life that I have yet to experience. I was talking to my son and explained to him that most of the people we see aren't living their lives. They are fixing something they broke a long time ago. That's where their time, energy, and efforts are going. That's no way to live. It's not even a way to exist. I'm having a hard time understanding right now why it's so difficult for us to make good choices. I'm having a hard time understanding why it's so easy for me to set mys...

Every time I get up, I tell myself that my morning will not dictate my day. I'm usually right. If I'm having a good morning, I do what I can to keep up with the momentum. If I'm having a challenging morning, I give myself a deadline to deal with whatever is going on and I move on as best I can after that deadline. It works for the most part. Evolving has been a part of my life for the past 7 years or so. I mean, it's been a part of my existence since I got pushed out of the womb but I've been just living mostly until then. I didn't have a clue about what life was about. And by the time I made my mind up to try to figure it out, I'd set myself up for some uphill battles. And I've been used to battling. It's a nasty habit to have to be ready to fight all the time. And as much as I say I crave peace and the quietness it brings, I seem to find myself making automatic choices based on past experiences. The responses aren't even warranted most times an...

I guess I'll take advantage of this "feeling" I have and use it to express some of my discontent with what's going on in my immediate world right now. I've expressed before and will again here that I have a serious issue with people telling people to vote and ending their statement and walking away. People don't care WHAT people are voting for or for WHOM for that matter as long as they exercise this *insert sarcasm* right *end sarcasm* I'm a cynic when it comes to the political process. Part of the reason why is because I feel like people don't take voting as seriously as they claim they do.....but turn around and judge people who choose not to vote at all. Ask the average voting citizen where the candidates stand on any important issue and I wonder if they can tell you. Ask the average voting citizen who the independent candidates running for office are and I'm almost sure they cannot tell you....HELL, some of them are unaware of the fact that ...

I've been getting all kinds of reminders and lessons lately. The most recent lessons are about feelings of entitlement and the illusion of need. The most recent reminder was that I need to chill and cultivate my anger appropriately. While I was steady on my path down the yellow brick E.Volution road, I looked down and noticed that my shoes were shitty. I looked back on the path that I'd been traveling recently and saw that I've been leaving a trail of shitty footprints behind me. I started wondering to myself how long it's been since I assessed how close I am to being a whole person. And while I don't expect to be a perfect person, I do expect to accentuate my positive qualities and do what I can to diminish or remove my negative ones. And if I can't diminish or remove them, I'll at least learn to manage them so that I don't look up and realize I've been being an asshole. I had a conversation with a friend of mine earlier this week. Someone close...

I've been talking too much lately. I've been talking about the wrong things to the wrong people under the wrong circumstances. I caught myself the other day. The messed up part about it is that I've done it for so long that it took me a minute to remember what the right things to talk about are. Drama is pervasive. It's sneaky. It looks very different at each level of evolving. But it always looks like a distraction. It looks like minding other people's business. It looks like trying to "help" people when they didn't ask for my help. It looks like trying to help people when they really don't want to change. It looks like paying attention to the details of someone else's situation when my own are frayed and coming undone. There are more than enough areas of my own life that require my attention. The fact that I feel like I can devote any significant amount of time to anyone else's life to me means that I still have a lot of growing up to d...

NOTE TO SELF: Drama is more appropriate in tv, movies, and literature than in real life. That's why you made a conscious effort to keep it out of your space. My future ain't urban fiction!