What healing looks like

Peace. Be Still. Joy comes in the morning. It also comes at night......and consistently during the day

I had a conversation with a friend and reflected on what I know about fear. It shows up in a number of ways. The most recognizable way for me is not trusting the process. I know that things will always be o.k. for me. The challenge is believing it when faced with things that don't look like "the process".....the increments, the steps that I don't necessarily want to take.

There are lessons of love and healing in the increments, so it makes sense to love that part also.

My goal in life is to become a well-balanced person who possesses a well-integrated personality and trusts the process regardless of what it looks like. I found my definition for loving myself. 

 I posted that this morning on my Facebook page. I made a decision today that FOR TODAY, I would not let fear consume me. Today, I would not let it overcome me. I would replace a fearful thought with trust. And in doing so, I discovered what it meant to love myself. I'd been asking that question my whole adult life. I couldn't grasp the concept of self-love. I knew what it looked like when other people loved their "self" but it didn't make sense to me to do the same thing. 

 Today I experienced a freedom that I'd been longing for my whole life. I have a reference point. I have a concrete place I can go to when fear rears its face. That place is trust. Who would have thunkit that TRUST would be the thing in my life to replace fear? 

 Earlier this year, I visited a psychic and she confirmed out loud that I don't trust people. It wasn't hard for me to hear because I knew that it was true. And I know and understand that the reason I never trusted people was because I couldn't accept the reality of who they would be to me. I also struggled with being consistent in my actions and reactions to others. If I couldn't trust myself to do what I knew I was capable of doing, where would I draw trust from? No where. Something had to give. 

 In the midst of chaos, I found the answer to the question of my self-love source. It's trust. Trusting that life can be, will be, has been, and is good. After all the things I've endured, I can say that on any given day I've made it out. I'm o.k. It's a miracle and a blessing to be able to realize that the process of life is something I can trust. And with that, everything falls into place. 

 I E.Volve 

Comments

  1. DoctorNatural8/01/2013 02:49:00 AM

    I am quite proud of you for pushing yourself and striving to get to this point! It must have been a crazy road but you've finally reached where you wanted to go and, guess what? You aren't done! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dunori8/13/2013 11:57:00 AM

    Congrats on the revelation; try to never forget it.

    ReplyDelete

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