The Evolution of Perspective

That he doesn't hate women or himself That he honors himself and women That he loves himself and womankind There's some other stuff too but this is important AF

Of course I'm not. I'm Ellen Gee .  Sorry for yelling. Ok, so here I am, sitting here finishing up all the things I had on my list to do today. Well NOT ALL. The important and urgent things are what I accomplished today. I woke up with a stress headache. I'm sure it's 98% PMS related. WHATEVER! Anyway, I'm sitting here going through my email and one of my favorite YouTubers dropped a new video recapping a popular television show that I've never watched because I threw all the babies out with the bath water when it came to tv. THANK MY AFRICAN GAWDDESS for modern technology though because I can watch the show at my leisure (whatever that is) and make a determination for myself if it's something worth my extra time (whenever that happens). One of the points she made was about one of the women characters needing to be rescued. That got me to thinking about a book I tried reading a long time ago called The Cinderella Complex. I say tried because during th...

Woooooo chile. I'm over here going through my finances. I used the budget tool on my banking website and am a little shocked at seeing what I thought I already knew. It's something about seeing your spending in a pie chart that jump starts some thangs in your life. JUST ME? Oh ok. WELL HONEY....it's something about seeing my spending in a pie chart that jump starts some thangs in my life. I said a few months ago that a lot of my disposable income goes to food. I! WAS! NOT! LYING! And from this, I decided to do things a little differently starting next year. I have a financial goals that I realized weren't on paper. A couple of them were and they were manifested. They were small goals and they were goals that I achieved. The ones that were in my head never manifested. AND GUESS WHERE THEY ARE GOING?? *grabs an ink pen* I'm excited and encouraged about what this is going to look like in 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, and a year. I didn't spend 2015 in the same ...

I was recently in Boston for a work-related conference this past weekend. I flew on an airplane for the first time in my life on Thursday, November 12, 2015. That was one of the benefits of going to the conference. People kept asking if I was scared or nervous. I almost didn't understand the question because I was so curious and excited about flying. It dawned on me later that flying on an airplane is an act of faith. That's not a dramatization. People have lost their lives while flying. It made me think about how fragile life can be. The fragility wasn't my primary thought though. I was too excited and curious about the experience to focus the majority of my energy on anything else. I did look up at one point and realize that I was the only black person on my flight. I didn't feel anyway about it at first. I just noticed. Then I thought what that experience could be like in a hostile environment. I was in the sky. I was above the clouds. I was doing something that I ...

So they say we date at our self-esteem levels. It must be at the bottom of the level. I’m laughing to myself as I type this, but I’m very serious. I’ve never dated what I consider to be a high quality man. I’m not sure I’ve ever even attracted one. I ask myself do I consider myself to be a high quality woman. Parts of me say yes and parts of me say no. The parts of me that say yes are the parts that know that I can be sweet, caring, and nurturing. The parts of me that say yes know that I am smart, ambitious, and talented. Those parts don’t attract men to me though. Not closely anyway. Those parts attract my admirers. Those parts attract the men who want to partner with me to get work done. The parts of me that I don’t consider to be high quality are the parts of me that make their way to the surface and find my partners. These men are not transparent. They are not honest. They have very questionable levels of integrity. They are not growing at the same pace that I want to grow. Are th...

My oldest daughter comments to me that I’ve been “woke” for a long time. I studied some in my early 20s. I remember declaring that I was on a quest for knowledge when I was about 18. I started reading about Malcolm X and sifting through things to learn why it was important to appreciate my blackness. I learned about being hated and why it was important for us to understand our history and our culture. At 20 years old, I didn’t know that what I was learning would lay the groundwork for a lifetime of learning and unlearning. Twenty-one years later and I feel like I’ve come full circle and still recognize exactly how far I have to go. Being “woke” in 2015 means that I understand a lot of the ramifications of structural racism, white supremacy, and the war on black people in a way that dictates how I walk, talk, and move through my life. Being “woke” in 2015 means that I understand how the system was set up to cripple our people financially, emotionally, and psychologically.  ...

Just in case you were wondering, I've made a conscious decision to get clear about how I feel about black people, blackness, and all the things that are involved with falling in love with those things. One of the manifestations of that is that movement called Black Money Matters Project . One of the purposes of the project is to encourage black people in America to spend their money wisely with people who either look like them and/or businesses that are in line with their personal belief system and philosophies about life. Something has been in the back of my mind since this second level of black love manifested within the depths of my soul. It's THE RACISTS ARE COMING! THE FRAIDY CATS ARE COMING! THE COONS ARE COMING! I'm readying myself for the people who are going to start falling out of the woodwork with absurdities like: You're a racist. You hate white people You believe in dividing humanity Why you always gotta talk about black stuff Why are you always p...

worrying about what's going on with the Kardashians concerning yourself with Beyonce and Jay-Z trying to promote your trap music laughing and joking on social media praying the fear away harassing women on the street looking for the cheapest price for Brazilian Remy getting your face beat for the club feeding your face drinking til you can't walk poppin pills chasing a dollar and a dream acting respectably turning the fuck up checking bae's phone showing your ass hashtagging eggplant friday with your twist out matching your shoes and your clothes waiting in line for Js on your knees not caring thinking you can't do anything believing in the illusion of powerlessness and we're busy dying I don't know if you're ignoring this reality because you can't cope or because you don't care. Just hope it doesn't hit your doorstep. Just hope that a bullet doesn't penetrate your temple. Just hope that a baton doesn't connec...

I've been needing to have one of these with myself for a while now. I need to admit some things to myself out loud.  Here goes everything! I wouldn't necessarily call myself lazy, but I prefer to sleep in. I prefer the path to least resistance, unless I'm being challenged. If I'm not being challenged, I don't always see the need to exert unnecessary energy into something. The problem is, I haven't really been challenging myself. I think I still have tomorrow. I think I still have time to step into the fullness of my greatness. I go to work and look around and realize that my talents are being wasted away. But I'm scared. I'm afraid that my leap of faith will land me on my face. Not because of my talent, or lack thereof. Mostly because I question my ability to step up to the plate consistently enough to maintain a certain level of excellence. I'm just being honest. I wanted to start a YouTube diary page, but I hesitated in doing so because I wor...

My top 2 things I'm no longer here for this week: 1. Adults blaming children for the way that they are. Don't we raise them? Aren't we responsible for them? Weren't we our own version of a hot ass mess when we were their age? 2. People being insulting about how people choose to entertain themselves. NOW let me preface this by saying that our society is riddled with people who spend a lot of time on mindless behavior. I don't watch television much. I don't care for it as my primary form of entertainment. And bashing people who do is NOT a form of entertainment for me either. Don't we know we need to mind our business? I mean really. Yes, we are supposed to have opinions about things, BUT MAN....our opinions are not gospel. We wake up from our societal indoctrination and instead of loving people to a better place, we judge and shame the fugg out of them. We gotta do better. And we includes me.

I know the old adage that life begins now BUT BABY I am so looking forward to this Spring and Summer. I looked at the extended forecast on the weather and things are going to get up into the 50s in the next few weeks. A sistah is X TA TIC!!! lol So much so that I had to write about it. This winter season has me sitting still. I've been sitting a lot more still than I think I have in the last 7 years or so. It's been uncomfortable. I'm used to moving. I'm used to making things happen. Lately, I haven't had the energy, the motivation, or the drive to do much of anything. I don't favor cold weather. I likes it WARM. The hotter the better for me. So I'm ready to start planning weekend getaways out of town to promote my brand. I'm ready to start supporting local events again. I AM JUST READY! LOL I'm excited so I thought I'd capture this excitement and share it with you. Don't you just love the anticipation?