The Evolution of Perspective

I've watched several intimate connections disconnect in many ways over the last week or so. One of them was mine. Something shifted. Something's in the water. Something's in the air. WHATEVER. One of the things that I realized was that I didn't pay attention to my intuition. Fifteen years ago, if I didn't pay attention to my intuition, I ignored the fact that I didn't pay attention to it and blamed him for being who he was. Today, I realize that the longer I ignore that NAGGING THOUGHT that this person isn't the right person for me, the longer I delay the inevitable. The more I ignore the warning signs, the more I open myself to someone else's foolishness. Some people will take advantage if you let them. Some people will walk through an opened door....even if the sign on the door reads "If you walk through this you will hurt my feelings". They'll walk through the door if they believe that there's something on the other side of the door ...

It’s that feeling you get when you know you should be doing something else. When you know you should be doing something bigger than what you’re currently doing. You know, when you wake up and realize that you slowly but surely got off track…….one tragic step in the wrong direction at a time. I recently realized this. It almost broke me down. I remember wanting to scream and cry and stomp and pout like a baby. I cried. And for a while, I allowed myself to become a victim. I kept wondering why people were trying to treat me the way they were. I didn’t like it. I wanted them to stop. Then I talked to someone and I talked myself away from the ledge. I talked my way through and out of my issue. I walked away from being a victim. I remembered that I am in charge. I remembered that I have the right to make things happen. I also remembered that I have a responsibility to. So I made some appointments and decisions. I started thinking of a master plan. I realized that it’s only my fault when t...

I recently had a pretty bad argument with someone I used to be close to. The argument was about time. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a stickler for time. I show up to work at least 15 minutes early each day on average. When someone is having an event, I show up at the event start time. I calculate travel time, traffic, parking, etc into my commute. I plan accordingly. I let people know what my approximate arrival time will be. People who know me will agree. So when the people who know me feel as though they don't have to respect my respect for time, I get upset. Waiting for someone for more than 20 minutes is ridiculous to me. I understand that things happen. I understand that life gets in the way. But I'm not talking about those situations. I'm talking about someone intentionally choosing to manipulate my schedule because they do not want to adhere to it. And they don't want to tell me ahead of time that the schedule doesn't work for them. What does this h...

So there's this trick that I noticed that people who "inform" perform. (I know because I've done it too.) First they find your sore spot or emotional wound. Next they present you with information that presses on the sore spot or reopens the emotional wound (or at least attempts to break it back open). Then they get you riled up and emotionally charged. You scream. You argue. You Facebook. You Tweet. You Blog. You converse amongst your friends about the situation. THEN WHAT? I've never been a fan of marching, petitioning, wearing ribbons, etc. I HAVE never been a fan. I don't knock how people choose to fight this way. I just don't fight that way. I recognize the effectiveness of creating awareness. People need to know what's going on in the world. But after they know, THEN WHAT? After you've marched then what? After you've signed the petition or worn the ribbon, then what? And I'm not being facetious, I really would like to know. Do you ...

Outside of the obvious, there is this underlying problem with self-deception. I remember when I would NOT accept who I was. I remember wanting to be so different that I refused to accept who I actually WAS. Every problem was one that was caused by someone else. Every situation was one that someone got me in to. Every ordeal was generated by something outside of me. Fast forward to the relationship that helped me to begin to change everything. I was in a relationship with my mirror. This man was who I was. He was a liar. He was a cheat. He was an addict. He was irresponsible. He was sweet. He was (somewhat) free. He loved to learn. He was creative. I embraced all the things about him that I embraced in myself. The things in me I didn't even acknowledge, I judged him so very harshly. I made excuses for who I was (and NONE for him). I was the way that I was because of how I was raised or because of something that had to do with someone else. None of this bull I shitted on people...

I realized today that I've never committed myself to a relationship before. I've been in a few yes. I've given myself the impression  tricked myself into believing that I was committed to the relationship yes. Thinking about it retrospectively though, I never was. I say this because I always walked into the relationship with an exit strategy. I've always had a plan of what (or WHO if I'm keeping it real) I was gonna do when things went sour. It wasn't until now that I realize that you can't hold on to a relationship with one foot outside the door. The door can't even be cracked. It has to be closed. The ability to open the door needs to remain but when a commitment is made to a relationship, the door cannot remain open. Having an open door means, to me, that the options for dealing with the inevitable trials and tribulations of the relationship are OUTSIDE of the relationship. When the door is closed, FOR ME, that means I have to use what's in the sp...

Excerpt from  Communion With God  by Neale Donald Walsch The idea that God's Will (assuming that God has one) could not be done runs counter to everything you thought you knew about God-namely, that God is all-powerful, ever-present, the Supreme Being, the Creator- but it is one that you nevertheless enthusiastically embraced. This produced the highly improbable but very powerful illusion that God can fail. God can desire something but not get it. God can wish for something but not receive it. God can need something but not have it. In short, God's Will can be thwarted. This illusion was quite a stretch, for even the limited perceptions of the human mind could spot the contradiction. Yet your species has a rich imagination and can stretch credibility to the limit with amazing ease. You have not only imagined a God with needs, you have imagined a God who can fail to have His needs met. How have you done this? Once again, through the use of projection. You have projected you...