The Evolution of Perspective

I've been on social media for years....YEARS! At least 20!!! I made my way through BlackPlanet, Yahoo 360, Multiply, Blogger, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I remember back in 2001 when I clicked on a random bear that appeared on my computer screen at work after I opened an email and unknowingly released a virus on my system. I remember discovering how words from strangers could be restorative to parts of me that I wasn't even aware were broken back in 2005. I remember giving into jealousy and ugliness and meanness on the internet in 2011.  I remember one of my social media friends reminding me why it's not ok to make fun of people's looks in 2014. I remember being a self-righteous jackass in 2016. I value growth. I remember when I was approaching my 30's. It was important to me that I do something significant so that my 30's didn't resemble my 20's in terms of pain, mistakes, poor choices, etc. I remember when I was approaching 40 and wanting t...

I took a Hexaco.org  personality test the other day. I'm glad I like myself. Because if I didn't, I would be sulking in the seat of a pity party for 1. The things we tell ourselves about who we are and what other people experience yo!!!!! So the test basically told me all the things that exist in the darker version of me. Opened me ALL the way up! The information wasn't anything that I didn't know from reflection sessions I have with myself. There's something about reading it in black and white though. OUCHIE OUCHIE! What these things tell me though is that it's not so much that I'm a bad person (because I don't believe or think this about myself) as much as it tells me how far I've come in terms of being able to reconcile my personality. When I started The Evolution of Perspective in 2009, it was with the goal of reconciliation. At first I thought I wanted to manifest perfection and rid myself of all my demons and darkness and ugliness. As the...

I had an interesting exchange with a woman recently. We only know each other through social media and were connected based on some community work that we doing. She said something to me during an exchange that gave me pause. She spoke about how she supported the work that I was doing in the past and was looking to support the work that I'm currently doing. I'm going to unpack the feelings that I've had and currently have about what support is and looks like. Back when I first started my radio show on the Blog Talk Radio show platform, the people who listened to my show were mostly people who already knew me. They were friends (real life or social media) and family (blood relatives and play cousins) and strangers who happened upon the links. At the time, I didn't understand advertising or marketing much. I assumed what a lot of other people assumed about support as well. "If you bang with me like that, you'll listen to my show and tell other people to liste...

I was a very different person before 2009. I used to describe her as "ugly". Her behavior was ugly. Her thoughts were misguided. She was in a lot of pain. She knew it, but she didn't really know how she was being affected by the pain. My behavior wasn't anything that I recognize today as healthy. Her spirit tried to remember that it was good though. From 2009 - 2012, I was extremely aware of my own toxicity and knew that I had to heal it and deal with it and reduce it but never forget that she existed. Anybody who knew me then and still "knows" me today, knows that I am as different as I can be. Anybody who knew me then and doesn't know me today doesn't know the amount of work that I did and continue to do to to make sure that I heal all of the pain energy that was shared with me and that I shared with the world. I work hard to look at my life, my personhood, and my energy so that I can be clear about what I'm sharing with the world. It's ...

For the most part, I've been off social media (and by off I mean refraining from posting) since March 20th. I needed a break from talking publicly. I needed to listen. I needed to watch. I needed to observe. I was in desperate need of some clarity. I continued chatting with friends during the hiatus, but I didn't say anything publicly. I didn't like anything. I didn't comment on posts. I didn't answer any tags. I just held private conversations and lurked. Those who REALLY know me, know that when I get quiet, something important is happening. Here are 5 (of 15)  things that I realized about myself and was able to begin to make peace with when I decided to get quiet: 1. I realized that I had an unwarranted fear of missing out. If I didn't keep people engaged, if I didn't respond to people, if I didn't answer their tags.....what would happen? I assumed people would forget about me. I assumed people would get caught up in the "next best thing...

He was singing. "I tried to put one in the ay yah" then asked me who sang the song. I told him Solange. He said "Oh, I rocks with that song, but I like Beyonce better". And I looked at him and asked him why he needed to bring up Beyonce in a discussion about Cranes in The Sky. He said because he likes Beyonce's music. I said BUT THAT IS NOT A BEYONCE SONG THOUGH. Here's the thing....... If you hear me talking about something I love while comparing it to something I don't like, pay close attention. Ask yourself if I can talk about the thing I love WITHOUT mentioning the thing I don't. If I can, ask me why I brought up the thing I don't love. Chances are I could have accomplished praising what I loved and showering it with adoration WITHOUT thinking about the thing I don't. This is a bad habit we have in 2017. We stubbornly refuse to acknowledge what we love without including what we don't. Hell, we go on social media and talk about the...

I don't know if I can think of a woman, black woman more specifically, who is more polarizing in 2017 than Beyonce'. She announced today that she was pregnant with twins. And like clockwork, people on the far right and others on the far left took to social media to stand (either up or down) for Beyonce and her announcement. She's been called a distraction, a queen, and a lot of things in between. I joked on social media before about putting in an application for the BeyHive when she dropped Lemonade. I'm not a hater, nor am I a stan. I sit right in the middle. I enjoy listening to and dancing to her music. I enjoy watching her perform. I'd never pay to see her live. And while I think that she's arguably the greatest performer in my children's generation, I have the benefit of having lived long enough to know other great performers. It's the first day of February. It's officially Black History Month. For some of us, it's a time to celebrate ou...